The list grows exponentially as to what has to be done before the Big Boys come to town. Priorities come to play. So, I have new door mats and some stone sealer. The 999 other things, like packing clothes, dishes and food, naw, not so much. Now the babies in the emergency room puking her little guts up so no packing, more emergencies, second one in a week. More trips, more time, nothing gets done.

I think I will do the only logical thing I can think of in this situation. Go to bed, hide under the covers and try and cope tomorrow. Last day of coping possible. Big boys are looming at 8ish in the am on Monday, so tomorrow is it. What can I avoid then? Bet I can get creative.

location: Running for The Bed mood: cranky tags: big boys, emergency room, moving, packing, priorities

I hear the clock ticking, though my big wall clock has been stopped by the pendulum resting on the base, still, I hear it. Only three three three three three more days til the movers and packers arrive and completely disrupt my life. Yet, here I sit. Whispering away the little time I have, saying, "now I need to make sure I do....." I guess that one of those whispers is "Now I need to get OFF the computer and get busy with my "To Do" list. Hum quotes within quotes, should those be doubled? Singled? I forget. Tick Tock.

location: Far fromWhere I need to Be mood: crazy tags: clock, tick tock

Well, here it is. After ulcers have formed, cold/flu threatens, back beyond broke and too many sleepless nights, eating something, anything, at all or none hours: The House Is Ours.

I realize that I have left out a major portion of the story, especially after the roller coaster entry, but it has just been way too crazy. Knowing we had to move, we set out to find a house. That was beyond an adventure with nothing presenting itself. Then, out of nowhere and with absolutely no planning, we found ourselves sitting in an office and signing papers to buy a brand new home, not even completed. Stunned and numb followed by sheer panic. This was a HUGE purchase. No mere coffee tables. Not a couch. A large house with a large yard. With a price tag to match. The ride home was silence, followed by, "what just happened?" You just bought a house, that's what happened. OMG....more silence, more panic. Time seemed to stop and then speed up with the sound of tick tock you gotta be outta da house you in in less than 6 weeks. Will the house close, will they accept the offer? Will each of the 50 or so hurdles be jumped in time to have a place for 35,000 pounds of boxes to live?

Packing started, stopped, started. Movers finally contacted with only one week to go. Finally, just before Thanksgiving day, the call came in. You are signing the papers. Right now, in 30 minutes 30 plus miles away during rush hour traffic. But, hey, don't speed or anything. Papers signed. Bell donged. Next group of hurdles placed. Everything stalled because no one works the four days of Thanksgiving. Wasn't really in too thanksgiving mood so there was no family, no dinner, no nothing but packing and aspirin. DD having fits about us sitting (as if) there with no dinner. Not a problem. Everyone starts calling and finally guilted into going to soon to be relatives, sort of, and having a dinner. Oh joy. It wasn't too bad, but I kept thinking. Time is ticking, I am just sitting. Getting heartburn.

Monday comes and it is one of the big hurdles. The walk through. There we go, camera and pads in hand, blind and ignorant as to just what to expect. Walker througher was very very charming and funny (I knew it was to makes us friendly and like her so we wouldn't look at something and rip her apart) (which happens a lot, I hear). We then spent three hours taking baby steps through the large empty spaces in our bare feet, with all the doors open and it being a balmy 60 degrees. We were frozen in minutes. Inspections of seams, molding, baseboards, carpet everywhere, hardwood floors that weren't glued down properly in front of the fireplace. Then slowly crawled our way upstairs for the grand tour/inspection.

With that signed sealed and notorized, we went home to thaw and start the moving picking process in earnest. This turned out to be a rather huge headache. The moving companies have been seriously hurt by this economy so they jumped at the chance. This followed many days of e-mails, phone calls, and tours of assessors as they pulled out drawers and peered through cupboards and made clicking noises on their little data pads, adding up the tonnage and packing materials. Moving day was looming in just five days and no firm answer as to the final destination. Stomach ache. Sleepless nights, tense drawn muscles and a small fight over location of who gets what room and why. The house now waits to be inspected which can't happen until the microwave arrives and is placed. Then after that, the paperworks goes to the developer who must takes the mountainous stacks of papers that have been signed to the various agencies so that the state gets theirs, county, city, and last but not least the financier. There it will be all looked over and checked again. Then, maybe, perhaps, it will be finalized and we will get THE KEYS.

As all this swirls about, the landlady, who was back from Spain, is happy that we are moving out a week earlier (maybe) so she schedules daily visits with carpet people, paint people, tile people, husband back for a visit and the three year old and the one year old. All this and packing, lifting, sorting, dusting (my god, you can not imagine how dirty a place you live in until you move, even if you keep your house clean looking) and washing everything you can. DD throws in her drama so there is also the eight year old and three month old to be watched.

Moving companies keep calling looking for a chance to undercut the other guys, and I get to deliver the good news that there will be only one winner, the other four don't even get consolation prizes. Then, in my im box up pops the news. The house has passed all hurdles. We get the keys tomorrow! My stomach is still tense but maybe there will be some sleep to be had tonight knowing that I won't have to put my bed out on the curb and pass around a paper cup for spare change. OK, too dramatic. Still, pack your suitcase and spend a week in a motel. While you pay the moving company to hold your stuff for a week. WHeeeewee

Sigh....My song of the week....."How Tired I Am" by Whiny and Crybabies

location: Unknown mood: tired tags: house, keys, moving, ulcers

I set out to be so organized, to finish my LemonGirl piece and record my progress. So didn't happen. My girl sits there unattended as my life takes yet another major turn. I swear I am on a very long roller coaster ride through uncharted jungles and truly don't know where it will end. One thing I did know was that I woke up one morning about two months ago and knew, just like that, that we would have to move. It was clear as a bell. I have had that feeling before and it always comes true. So, even though things seemed settled with our lease, the job situation hadn't even started to unfold, which, logic dictates, meant that the new job would probably be the moving factor.

Job opportunities suddenly appeared and the perfect one fell right outta the sky and landed in our laps. Cool. Except that it didn't involve moving, at least not yet. So, what was up with that? Within weeks, landlady came by to say that we were good, not to worry, place was ours for years to come. We thought she looked pregnant, she said no, flustered and embarrassed. We were mortified. Several weeks go by, the two year lease was out to be signed. Family came for a surprise visit to meet the newest family members, landlady calls and says that it turned out she was pregnant with twins and would need the house in 60 days. Certainly put a damper on my family reunion.

So here I sit, with only six weeks until I need to be gone, with almost nothing done.

Lesson to be learned: When you wake up knowing that something is going to happen, do something about it! Duhhhhh.

location: Front Seat of the Roller Coaster mood: contemplative tags: family reunion, lemon girl, moving

I am a fan of The Big Bang Theory. It is smart, funny and extremely well written, so I make sure to record and watch the episodes. The thing is, I am not a huge TV fan. I find it wastes so many hours for so little entertaining. On my other hand, I have a short list of certain favs that I will watch, no matter what. BBT is one of them. Which is my segue into the unusual dream I had last night.

Big Bang, The Early Years, or maybe not....
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors )

location: At the far end of the Dream mood: amused music: Dream a Little Dream of Me-Mamma Cass tags: big bang theory, bunk beds, dream, soap, star spangled banner

I only did four posts in September! Four. that is shameful. Course it is because I stopped working on my piece. No work, nothing to say. My friends have been busy, I have been busy, just not doing what I should have been doing. I have been playing those stupid apps on Facebook, that's why! For Shame!

They just suck you in. Yeah, I get it. Duhhhh. That is their purpose. Play the game, as you do, you find you have to have neighbors, crew, mob members. In other words. More people to play with you, for you and help you. Then you find out that what they really want is for you to pay actual money to buy the stuff you need to play these games. Yet, you still play, even without paying. Farms with their crops and animals, complete with elephants and hot air ballons; cities to run your mob out of, icing and killing along the way; apartments to decorate and accessories to buy; fish tanks with their decorations and fish to raise and sell; vampires, dragons and I have lost count of the rest. The thing is there are always two or more versions of each game. The vortex of fb apps. I have advanced on some, lagged on others and simply don't play the rest. Yet, I still get on first thing and harvest, plow, plant, rob, cheat, steal, kill, feed, decorate and give gifts. It is insidious. My family is some of the worst for sucking me into it. Then I find myself doing the same for other members. E-ghads! So, maybe I will still plow and plant, one farm though, not two. Leave the rest to the packs that come along and rob and kill me while I sleep. Thinking this isn't such a good thing to put my energy towards.

It is now October. The family has expanded in ways we never expected and this is proving to be a good thing. Now it is time to finish up the drawer project that has languished out it the garage all hot summer long, paste and layer and finish up my lemon girl and redo my rooms. Then there is the bedroom that needs to be cleaned out. No, don't go there. Too many things to do and the blueberries still need to be harvested. Which is more fun? Cleaning a real room or tapping the screen to harvest? Hummm....let's see. Real sweat, tired finger. It is a tough call.

location: Junction of cross roads mood: confused music: Tamacun, Rodrigo y Gabriela tags: blueberries, crew, farms, fish tanks, mobs, october, september

My favorite show is finally back on the air. Dexter. Love that show, got to watch it last night and somehow, it set the mood for today. A strangish day that started with my electric frying pan lid sliding off the kitchen counter and into the recycle bin. That didn't please me, but I fetched it out and set it back, awaiting its turn at the sink for its bath. I reached for the sponge, and no, I did not nudge it with my elbow, and what should it do? It hopped right back off the counter and into the bin. This pissed me off, there was nothing wrong with the bath, and it certainly needed it. That is when I decided that it could stand to learn its lesson about disobeying me. I told it in my firmest voice that it could have a time out and would remain there until the timer went off. Then it would taken out of the bin and scrubbed. Hard. Fine way to start the morning.

My next chore was taking care of my farm, only to discover that my neighbors had all sent me elephants. Six so far. On top of that, all my horses became unblinking, un-nodding, unbreathing zombies and one of them had eaten half of my cow. It was just too strange with the elephants, the hot air ballons and the zombie horses. I was supposed to have a farm, not a circus. All this amongst a field of blueberries. How fitting.

location: In the field of Blueberries with six Elephants mood: Puzzled tags: blueberryies, elephants, frying pans, horses, hot air ballons, time out, zombies

This morning I found God in my blueberry pancakes. It took a bit of doing, but there it was.

I knew for a week that today was pancake day. Planned it, waited for it, visualized it even. Finally Friday. Got out my buttermilk mix, ran out. Got out my milk, ran out. Got out the oil, ran out. Went to find the pecans, couldn't. Coffee maker stopped midway through brewing because I had run out of the right type of coffee, so over four cups of hot water sitting inside the basket. That is the way it went. One thing, then another. I did manage to find a package of frozen giant blueberries and decided that instead of pecans I would use them.

Then it finally happened. The cakes were in the griddle, the coffee finally done, the bacon crisped and in the oven staying hot, even the wonderful blueberry syrup ready for pouring. As I sat there, cutting into that thick, soft pancake and took my first bite, I knew this was heaven. That it didn't get much better then this. A house or home, someone to love and love you, family and friends close by, even if it is electronic miles. This was where God was. With me, sitting down and eating blueberry pancakes on a warm fall morning. How great is that? I feel that I have finally come full circle since my first search for where God was living when I was eight years old. Took me long enough.

location: Next to God on the couch mood: accomplished music: Highway to Heaven tags: blueberry pancakes, god

1000 Needed Inventions Needed by Raymond Francis Yates-1925

"G86-Typewriter. A typewriter so constructed that it will have abut half the number of parts of the present machine without any reduction in efficiency."

I am not sure what the exact reason that the author wanted a better construction of working parts on the typewriter, but have we achieved that in our substitute? I think we went the other way. Instead of less parts, the smart boys that devised the mother boards and processors in our "typewriters" of today, went way beyond the sheer number of mechanical parts and went small. Teeny tiny microscopic sized little lines that do something that makes my typewriter appear to print letters.

I was lamenting the other day about living in a virtual world, and realized that I have lots of things that seem real, but are actually nothing. Way back in the day you could pick up your Royal Typewriter and put it in a case and proudly carry it with you, should the need arise. We now pick up our phone and tuck it into our pockets and purses and off we go. Hooked up and in touch with the all of our friends and not so friends, the printed word, photographs, weather from around the globe, and breaking news about our favorite celebrities. All virtual, with few moving parts, that the eyes can see at any rate, small and getting smaller yet bigger every day.

They sure didn't see that one coming.

location: Virtually Here mood: curious music: Cold Play tags: inventions, motherboards, phones, typecriters

That has always been the way I operate. Turn the corner, poof, gone. Well, We have all turned our corners and are arranging to meet mid way. This shall be interesting. I have had to face some hard demons with a whole lot of resentment and anger. It is rather funny in that I have been bad dreams, which is unusual for me. Found myself telling my bogey man to take a hike, that I knew it for what it was. Going to take it one step at a time. I sound/feel like I am in a recovery program, you know, the 12 step kind. I just need the big book, the meetings every night and, most importantly, the donuts and coffee after the meeting with all my "I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID" pals. We will all hug and slap each other on the backs and remind each other that we are going to take it one day at a time.

Yeah. Then I turn around and say F.U. to alls of you for screwing me over. Ok. Turning the corner....again. And again. Long walk ahead of me, I'm thinking.

location: Floating towards Bed mood: dreamy tags: 12 steps, recovery program, turning the corner

Today is my birthday and it has been a peach. I got tickets to Cirque du Soleil! This is said in a sing songy voice that says Nah Nah Na Nah Nah! It isn't until December, but I am jazzed all the same. Did a little dance around room, felt slightly bad about not having enough money to invite the entire family, but it wasn't enough to bring me down much. I shall have to dole out the excitement day by day, month by month until we get to go. How do you go about doing that, anyway? We can monitor our emotions drop by drop. I am thinking not so much. But, I shall try.

Still, life around here has picked up, swirled around and I still have no handle on how to handle this. Don't think that it is foder for blogging, way too personal. So, to answer the query, no, there is nothing mentioned about the subject matter of my upheaval. Only to say this, my long term relationship is still intact, so no worries. Though it was a shock. Leave it to me to keep my mouth shut all these years and have it all come out anyway. No good deed goes unpunished, or so they say. I guess I would have to agree. Though not so sure about the good deed part.

Time to get off this merry-go-round. Yeah, like that is going to happen. My life, and everyone connected, has changed permanently. Now, how to proceed. I probably shouldn't post, yet sometimes I need to write things out to help get a handle on how I am feeling.

No, this isn't helping, shut up and deal. That's this limpets motto. And try to move a little faster.

location: Bottom of the Whirlpool mood: confused music: Pink Floyd Learning to Fly tags: birthday, chicks, cirque du soleil

It is just amazing how fast the time has traveled and how much has happened. This last month has been extraordinary. I haven't even processed all the emotions, but find that I will suddenly burst out with "What if....,How Can that be.....,Really, Who are...." all these questions that I have no answers for now, but am sure that they will come as events proceed. It is good to know that the questions will probably be sorted out, but it is hard to wait, I keep wanting to look around the corner of life and take a peek. Is it for real, do they exist? Why now? I guess that is the real one, Why now. How come? That is another good one. What does this really mean.

It would be easier if I were a different type of person, instead of the limpet that I am. I don't move into relationships easily, nor away from them. Well, that last part isn't really true. I will hang onto a relationship way past good quality time into the "what was I thinking time". Then, out of the blue, I turn a corner and am done. It strikes so suddenly sometimes that it is scary. Nope, not your friend anymore, not your wife, not your daughter, not even your acquaintance. I hang up the phone, pack a bag, or just disappear and that is the end of it. What kind of person does that? Sure maybe I invested waaaayyyy too many years into it, still, how come I don't do the emotional wrangling of detaching, slowly? Doesn't matter, can't change and that is just the way my cookie crumbles.

Ok, so this is rambling and disjointed, but it sure represents my state of mind lately. All over the map and getting nowhere fast. My virtual fish need tending, as does my garden, my pirating, and my killing all those lost souls in Mafia. How sad, my life is virtual, except when it isn't. Today is going to be a real day with real things. Yeppers that is my goal. Moving along.

location: Top of a Sandbar mood: anxious music: Jason Mraz tags: emotions, limpet, relationships

War of the words; so many words just to describe all our tiniest feelings. I am searching for words like boohoo or squishy, smack down or belly up, maybe patabelly, or pop-a-squish. Those are the ones to have, with the appropriate little once reviled smiley faces.

It is amazing how many varied forums are out there for us to record our every mood, thought, need or wish. All of them trying to hook you up with others, so you can be connected. The companies offer this for free, to the participant. The only cost is time and the aggravation of wading through so many similar, yet different, applications in order to do this. Staying hooked up, linked in and faced up. The sneaky thing about all of them is that they are really mining your information. They place ads on your pages that are specifically targeted to you. The selling of ads is what they really want you to hook up to. The buying of information linked to the buying of the user.

Reality is: War on the unsuspecting consumer. That is all we are, really. Lumps with digits that are vacant of original thought but have wallets that contain what they want. No, not condoms! Silly. And not those useless punch/stamp cards either. Ah yes, Watson. The plastic that you can not afford at 30% interest by the minute, and the not so desirable green fabric. They don't care too much, just spend it to buy their stuff.

I love stuff, my house attests to it. I have stuff, now I need stuff to put my stuff into, then a bigger area to put that stuff into. The nice thing about playing all those on-line games and winning stuff is that it is all kept in their proper places, on little pages. The best part? They never need dusting.

I have just realized that that is exactly what I need. A virtual house with virtual stuff, and don't forget the virtual tv so I can watch Dexter, well, Burn Notice, and a slew of others. My virtual entertainment in my virtual world. No dusting required, no mopping, no dishes, and, best of all, no cleaning the toilet. Down with reality! Now to go eat my virtual pastrami on rye! Don't forget the mustard.

location: on my virtual Yacht mood: Blank tags: consumer, emoticons, reality imagination cocepts designs, virtual

There was a war being waged in the white porcelain bathtub. A grudge match, and, most importantly, a fight to the death. Right in front of me. I watched, curious to see who would emerge victorious. In considering all the odds; agility, strength, stamina, and most important, speed; it was going to be a close call. Not because the two combatants were closely matched, no, not so.

Obviously, Luigi, "The Fang", was the "heavy weight" and favored to win. Suio-ama, "The Flash" was clearly outmatched in almost every aspect and expected to be tapped out in the second, maybe third round. He definitely fell into the lightweight catagory, being slender to Fangs bulk. Low to the ground, versus taller by far. The only mitigating factor that prevented this from being just an outright slaughter was The Flashes speed. He could move like silver lightening! Watching him fly across a room was simply amazing. But, the question was, could speed make up for The Fang's obviously much longer legs and quick, short bursts of speed. In an open arena, my money would be on Suio. Alas, this was not the case. The porcelain offered no traction and the steep sides would prevent both combatants from escape. There was only one way out, and that was down the drain. Final jeopardy was here. Fang knew this, that much was clear, as he slowly, carefully stalked his opponent. Flash was obviously thinking fast on his feet, as he tried to stay out in front of his opponent. Looking for a solution, an avenue of escape. Alas, there was none. The strategy was clear. The Fang would simply stalk his intended prey until Flash made a fatal mistake.

It was too hard to watch, no way out for The Flash and certain victory for Fang. I settled back to watch the grim specter, leaning on the high edge of the tub. Suddenly, everything went sideways for the two fighters. An unexpected monsoon came sweeping down. The water crashed onto the bottom of the basin, sending high arching waves of death up and out. Too late did they notice, caught up in their deathly duel. Fang turned and tried to make his escape up the far side of the tub. To no avail. Flash demonstrated his speed and agility as he dashed to the far back end, seeking purchase on the less steep slope of the tub of death. He was actually making it! Would one emerge victorious??!! Would the underdog win?

Sadly, no. The ferocity of the unexpected deluge caught up to the back end just as Flash slipped and fell backwards into the wet pool of death. By this time, Fang had already been sucked downward into the vortex of the drain. Flashes exit took much long, fighter that he was. But, exit he did, finally succumbing to the force of the undertow, dragging him down, all his little legs flailing in the air and he disappeared from view.

Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the torrential downpour stopped. I watched as the last of the liquid slowly drained away, leaving a slick shiny surface, reflecting my image back as I leaned over to examine the bottom. What had been, just moments before, an arena of suspense and impending death, had turned into a complete washout, with death for all. No victor in this round.

The lesson to be learned here is: If you are going to fight, make sure it isn't in the bottom of my tub. Also, you shouldn't be a spider and a silverfish. It isn't going to end well for either of you. The referee, in this case Juice100Tapper, is the final arbitrator of the match. Juice100Tapper has a near perfect score of adjudications. 99% win for the house, .01% for all other refereed fights or flights. The rest were illegal matches that occurred during off hours, usually in the pitch dark and are considered not eligible for any prize moneys. Should any be offered.
Which probably won't happen.

Stay tuned for further sports flashes. Should they occur.

location: Tub of Death mood: Victorious music: Tusk, Fleetwood Mac tags: bathtub, death, fighting, monsoon, the fang, the flash

I can't believe it, I started a Myspace account because H asked me to so she could send photos, e-mail and other stuff. I was a bit confused but signed up anyway. Got it up and going, I even have a pet penguin that is blue. I have to take the critter for a walk, pet other people pets, wash them, feed them, hug them. I also have to buy ridiculously expensive gifts that cost hundreds of dollars for a rubber duck, a bow tie, hats, sun glasses. They have special coins that you can purchase (with REAL money) so you can buy these things, 5,000 just for a two piece Peter Pan costume. It is digital, not even from China! Not a single things is actually made. Yet you get coins for walking and petting. How too cute for words. That was sarcasm, btw.

I am noticing a trend here, folks. You don't need to actually have a pet. You can now have virtual ones that have to have all the same stuff, but without the actual mess. I never have to clean up penguin's little poop, or change his water dish. Or, for that matter, keep a refrigerated room with running water in it. The big plus is no smelly fish in the house (I have two different programs that have multiple tanks full of different fish, though no sardines). I have found this same thing going on with people as well. I now have crews, both in the Mafia, where I kick butt with my wheel man, button man, bodyguards and thugs; and Pirates. There is lots of looting, fighting, and building in both worlds. Man oh man, do I wish I could make money in real life the way I do in there. I wouldn't be building me a marina or a boatyard, I would be hiring a maid, cook and secretary. That is my idea of putting my money to good use. One that doesn't involve any strain on my part. Gads, how I hate cooking in the summer. Bring on the servants, leave the schooner in the bay.

OK, so, I admit, it is lots of fun, fighting and buying cutlasses, swords, machine guns, and armored cars. I even took on a boss and whupped his butt. How sad is this. I have substituted real life for my digital family of badasses. Snicker.

location: Far from the Sardines mood: guilty music: Gorilla Zoe, Echo tags: buying, coins, cutlasses, facebook, fighting, looting, mafia, pirates

What a week. Sometimes I feel like I am living in the middle of a soap opera. Yet, I know better. My life is a cake walk (I don't know what that is, but it sure sounds nice, sorta) and I realize that. I have a home, a car, a nice new bed, clothes and stuff galore. I even have family, with a lost one added yesterday so unexpectedly and one on the way, plus friends. I get the sense that the universe has a wicked sense of humor and loves to knock you upside the head just to say hello! Remember Me?

Yeah, like we could forget just who is in charge.

So, new baby girl not yet born, but getting closer for the H girl. We are getting excited.

I now have a facebook page, a linked-in page, I am twittering, when I think of it, and two different blogs. All this and I still don't have time to get to each of them to keep them current. Let alone finish my painting! It is sitting there languishing on the table. But, I swear, tomorrow. Maybe.

So getting hooked up here. Electronically, that is. Could this post get more disjointed? Don't think so.

location: Glued to the puter mood: nervous music: Rob Thomas tags: facebook, family, linked-in, soap opera, twittering

Have been busy doing stuff. Tried my hot stencil cutter on mylar. That was a bust. I want a laser cutter, one that I can put my designs into and have it follow them to the milliliter. All smooth and polished. Not mine. Mine is like a game of horseshoes. You know....close, but not quite. Left that one to sit in the corner and take some well deserved time outs.

Next came the big projects. Signed up for Twitter, got a MySpace, opened up a new blog which will be just for my art project. Then yesterday, sat down and started putting together a website. Whew! Who knew sitting on your butt could be so tiring. I am going to do a big push and try and get the first page all put together, well, a mock up anyway, by tomorrow. It is all very confusing, but I am managing to get it sorta looking ok. Course, I have no idea what it will look like in "real" life.

Tah Tah Tah TAH! Where is my red cape? It's got to be here somewhere under these piles of paper. Fursure.

location: Far Away from Zuma mood: geeky tags: capes, myspace, stencil cutter, twitter, webpages

"Life is a rush into the unknown.
You can duck down and hope nothing hits you,
or
Stand up as tall as you can,
show it your teeth
and say
dish it up baby
and don't be stingy
with the jalapenos!"

Not sure where this quote came from, but I love it!

The heat has sucked all vitality out of everything, yet, it sure makes you want to stand up and dance when you read something like that.

location: In front of the Fan mood: chipper tags: heat, jalapenos, vitality

"From Berlin - Wannabe Latin lovers can improve their technique by playing with the erogenous zones of naked mannequins at a new interactive exhibition that has now opened in Berlin.

The "Amora sex academy" that opened in Berlin on Thursday welcomes visitors with the wry slogan, "Finally -- an exhibition for those who always have to touch everything." The show features several life-sized plastic models, naked and in various positions. One female mannequin light ups when touched in the right spot. A voice shrieks "That's it!" when the visitor manages to put his finger on the elusive G-spot.

Next to it is what the museum called its "Spank-o-meter." It measures the level of pleasure a mannequin receives when spanked with a leather whip." Thus posts Reuters.

Not sure why it focuses on latin lovers, as it is in Europe, where it seems to have originated, though, its next stop is Barcelona, so I guess they feel the need for some education. Maybe the next stop is London, then onto Des Moines, Iowa? Big hit, I am sure.

Several years ago, when there were newspapers (real ones) I would read through the days offerings and then sit down and write my own fractured version of the contents. I found it a wonderful release from the depressing news that permeates our daily lives. I have since found that without the real paper, you can't really get that type of mix of small little tidbits mixed in with the war, robberies, murders, ponzi schemes (oh, so don't get started on THAT one!), you know, sex, lies and youtube. So I have since resorted to scrounging around on various news sites, have even found a couple that are really promising, and then found Reuters. This was one of their stories.

It makes you feel safe, doesn't it. To know that there is a traveling mannequin sex show in a museum that will educate you on the exact spot to touch. We all need a little spank-o-meter in our lives. Or not.

location: Near the Coffee Pot mood: impressed tags: barcelona, berlin, g-spot, latin lovers, mannequines, museums, news stories, reuters, sex, spank-o-meters

"Now there is a new kind of star on the food scene: young butchers. With their swinging scabbards, muscled forearms and constant proximity to flesh, butchers have the raw, emotional appeal of an indie band. They turn death into life, in the form of a really good skirt steak.

And it doesn’t hurt that some people find them exceptionally hot."

So says the New York Times

If that don't beat all, a bloody butcher, the one you wouldn't want your daughter marrying but would like to have them as an uncle, just for the choice chops and cuts of steak.

Why aren't the bakers exceptionally hot? Well they are, technically speaking, it is just when they have to pull out all those breads and cupcakes out of the ovens. Still, butchers, hotter n the bakers, and let us not forget the candlestick makers. Now, THERE is sexy!

location: In front of the fridge, lookin at the meat mood: curious tags: bakers, butchers, candlestick makers, sexy